We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
