I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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