It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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