He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
