He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
