There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
