Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize