At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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