and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize