I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
