So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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