wakey wakey hands off snakey
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
People in love make me want to vomit
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize