I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
