If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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