I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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