Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
