If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
