Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
