This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize