so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
