I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
