He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Four minutes until I can fart!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
