I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
