dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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