your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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