he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
