It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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