Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
