she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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