one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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