Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
