just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
