Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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