That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
