You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
