My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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