I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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