Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
