The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize