it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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