you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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