So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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