Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
