she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize