He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
