I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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