I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
