Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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