so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
