i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
