Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
