And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
