bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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