Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
