the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Never underestimate the power of titties
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize