if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
