bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
