is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
