A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
