I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
