Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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