I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
