Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
