Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize