also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
