They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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