are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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