Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
