i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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