bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize